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Excerpt from Father of the Bride Speech in rhyme.
April 2021.
“One Stephen’s night in Galway, in a pub called the Quays,
There was a black out and everyone was out on the street,
This pair got chatting and got on very well,
Ros told him what she thought; his head started to swell.
Telling him easily that he was so very handsome,
And that he’d beautiful teeth which is really quite random,
He was meant to go abroad but he changed his mind,
Unbeknownst to him he’d met his beautiful Bride.”
Excerpt from Instaframe for a 50th Birthday.
April 2022.
When you entered this world, you were two weeks late,
Meaning your folks missed their tax rebate,
Brian and Jake couldn’t wait for their sis,
Who couldn’t say her own name and called herself Gigs!
You’re a gal who manages to get around,
There are several places where you might be found,
Portumna, Milan, New York or Liverpool,
And now again you would turn up at school.
You’d go to school and weigh up the day,
And if you felt that it wasn’t going your way,
You’d conveniently park your bike beside the school gate,
And you’d pedal off home at a furious rate!
Excerpt from Bride’s Wedding Speech.
March 2023.
About five years ago in a gym not so far away, Geoff and I caught each other’s eye while I was working out in the gym, and Geoff was working.
Trying to get me to go on a date with him was probably the biggest work out Geoff has ever had to do. But after a year of what must have felt like a deadweight, I finally agreed.
I knew I was onto a good thing when Geoff used to leave gluten free treats at my gate with a note. Our gluten free love affair flourished and after a sunrise swim on New Year’s Eve, Geoff was down on one knee asking me to marry him. It was the biggest yes ever.
Excerpt from Groom’s Speech.
September 2023.
Marie, I know that we are going to create more amazing memories together.
Thank you for supporting me.
Thank you for supporting Aston Villa.
Marie, I love you.
We are what happens when Waterford and Cork fall in love.
Excerpt from a Mother of the Bride Instaframe.
August 2021.
You are dynamic with your painting and decorating talents,
You are a lady with style and immeasurable balance,
Our ceiling would say that your baking skills aren’t great,
Do you remember the pancake that never made it to the plate?
When you lived in London you hired an Au Pair,
Who dressed me in a leather jacket and spiked my hair,
She charged tourists for my photo in Piccadilly Circus,
In hindsight she probably did me a service!
Excerpt from 80th Birthday Instaframe.
November 2022.
You’d homes in Sandymount and Belfast too,
You attended Inchmarlo for primary school,
Followed by St. Andrews and Trinity College,
Which is where you became a fountain of knowledge.
After a flirt with Dentistry you decided on Medicine,
Choosing bodies over teeth was no comparison,
McDowell’s Happy Ring House had you piercing ears,
As a job at the start of your medical career.
Excerpt from Sister of the Bride’s Wedding Speech.
November 2022.
She locked Jimmy out of the house, when our parents went out,
And wouldn’t let him in, despite of his shouts,
He broke a window throwing a potato, and knew there’d be trouble,
But that was just one of her childhood scuffles.
Another of her antics, was when I was a child,
Caroline tried to convince me I was going blind,
Fearfully I thought, I would need a white stick,
Until I realised it was Caroline’s big sister trick!
Excerpt from Best Man Speech in rhyme.
July 2022.
As a teenager he loved to make a bit of cash,
He had a unique business idea and he’d give it a lash,
His idea was perfect as there was no competition,
With the bit between his teeth, he was on a mission.
His idea was simple – He’d collect 20 pence pieces,
If you’d a few on your person he’d make sure you’d release them,
Anyone nearby with a wallet or a pocket,
Niall would be over to them like a rocket.
Excerpt from Newlywed’s Instaframe.
October 2022.
If Kate were jealous, it would be absurd,
Because she shares Seán with another bird,
Billie, their parrot; their bundle of joy,
But they didn’t know if Billie was a girl or a boy.
They sent Billie off for a gender diagnosis,
Kate and Seán waited patiently, for Billie’s prognosis,
Female or male? What was their Billie?
She was female of course because she had no..…. male parts whatsoever!
Excerpt from Mother of the Groom Speech.
July 2023.
When Shane started going to pubs and clubs, there were times when he came home with unexpected company. I was never delighted when this happened!
There were a few occasions that I would wake up and go into the kitchen. It was always obvious what Shane had been up; he was a divil for bringing home dogs. Each and every dog that he brought home would be sitting there wagging its tail surrounded by food and water bowls.
He always maintained that they just followed him home!
Excerpt for Retirement Instaframe for a Postman.
May 2022.
You delivered a package to one of the houses,
The owner had a friend there, who thought you were handsome,
She remarked ‘Wow… your postman has just raised the bar!’,
‘He looks like a Hollywood movie star!’
Not only delivering letters, but packages too,
Every house on the road, love your cryptic clues,
Others can miss their postman, which is just unfortunate,
But you kindly leave a note, with sat nav coordinates!